We Need More Empathy
Mr. Robot is one of my favorite shows, after The Sopranos, and what I’ve witnessed happening around the world sometimes feels like I’m watching an episode of Mr. Robot. That’s not good.
The division amongst socioeconomic classes, politics, ideologies, religion. The media is floored with petrifying images and sounds, accessible 24/7, and even kids can have access to it, directly or indirectly (shown by another friend). In a matter or seconds, your peace could be ruffled, and your brain might have a hard time processing what seems to be a dystopian reality.
I know Christian people, Greek Orthodox people, Catholic people, I know Jewish people, I know Muslim people, I know Mormon people, I know agnostics, I know atheists. If we remove the label, we are left with a community. A community is formed by individuals. Individuals have different personalities, but not all individuals carry the same traits such as malice and sadism. If people were to break things down like the example I just described, the swift pace of labeling an individual based on what they look like or believe in, would slow down. Kind of like when they teach you, “pause and respond instead of reacting” or “think before you speak.”
It’s impossible to get everyone to agree on what to do about this epidemic of violence, but I think we can all do our part in remembering that just because someone is from a particular country, does not mean they stand for what the country’s government is depicting to the rest of the world. I’ll give you a personal example: I’m Venezuelan, a damn proud one. But I am far from being a supporter of any authoritarian regime. I witnessed my beautiful country gradually integrate tactics used in the early and mid 1900’s by Lenin, Stalin and Mussolini. Hospitals were militarized, private properties and businesses were expropriated, I had friends from school who were kidnapped. I personally had two guns pressed painfully hard to my body (one on my head, one on my chest). Loud speakers were installed on the streets chanting the dictator’s “anthems”, the color red became the most hated color amongst Venezuelans. The first thing my dad made me master when he taught me how to drive, is reverse parking: you can escape quicker if someone is out to capture or mug you. I learned to look at all my surroundings and remain alert at all times when being out and about, and I also had to take different routes daily from my university to home, or from work to home. You needed a certain level of paranoia to survive. No one wants to feel paranoid, but it became an unconscious habit. The country has been ripped apart, and it breaks my heart.
If you look up information on Venezuelan’s government, you will know they are part of these group of leaders that aim to destroy with no remorse. You’ll hear the most despicable truths. So, the point is, I’m Venezuelan. Do I support violence, terrorism, antisemitism, racism, discrimination? No. I support love, peace, democracy, freedom of speech, kindness, support, empathy, compassion, justice and safety. I don’t care who or what you believe in as long as you are a good person with good intentions.
The media wants us to be afraid, they want us to be hooked, they want to immerse us in hate. Why do you think Tik Tok is so popular? Or X (it’s still Twitter in my head), or Instagram? Variability.
Social media platforms operate on what psychologists call a variable ratio reinforcement schedule — the same principle used in slot machines. That’s why each time you refresh your social media app, you will instantly get a plethora of content which could range anywhere from cute and exciting, to dark and disturbing. The unpredictability factor, in effect, makes your brain release dopamine in anticipation, not just when you get rewarded, like “receiving a like.” If you are not conscientious of your time management, and if you have no awareness of your actions and the present moment, you will naturally fall into a rabbit hole.
It’s essentially the digital version of gambling — you pull the lever (reload), and maybe you’ll “win” something gratifying. Start looking at it from this perspective, and if you truly care about your well-being, you’ll naturally become more attuned to detecting that sense of urgency to grab your phone for no reason. Your brain is craving dopamine.
Be mindful of what you expose yourself to. Be skeptical and don’t believe everything you read and/or see (it’s going to get worse as AI progresses). Be open to listening other people, instead of assuming they belong to a specific class of demonic people simply based on what they’re wearing or what color their skin is. Limit your exposure to your phone and the news. Set boundaries, for example, 5-10 minutes once a day only to catch up on the latest news and stay informed. Hide social media apps, it’ll make you less likely to open them.
Read. Walk. Go out in the sun. Play with your pet, your kids, nephews, nieces, your grandchildren; sit on the ground with them and view the world from their eyes for a moment. Take your wife or husband, mother, father, or someone very special to you on a nice, spontaneous date. Learn a new hobby. Listen to your favorite song and sing it out loud, and if it’s instrumental, pay attention to each note, to each instrument. Celebrate small wins. Practice active listening by focusing all your attention on the person’s words instead jumping straight to formulating a response and overlooking what they’ve shared. Help someone in need. Make time for self-care. Meditate (you could even do a “walking meditation”, where you walk without music and focus all your senses on how toes press against the ground or all the sounds you can hear in your environment. Immerse yourself in nature. Pursue meaningful, realistic goals. Set a to-do list in the morning and scratch off each chore as you complete them. Prioritize your sleep and treat your body like a temple. Feed it good, rich whole foods, eat them slowly, mindfully and limit anything processed or heavy in sugar. Sugar = inflammation = can lead to chronic inflammation = most underlying factor in many top causes of death such as cancer, diabetes and neurodegenerative diseases. READ THE LABELS ON THE BACK OF A PRODUCT. Look for added sugars. Research all the names there are for sugar, so you develop the knowledge to find them hidden on the ingredient list. Learn to take care of your gut. Get those probiotics in.
We are in this together. We share this world. We don’t have control over what is going to happen the next minute, the next second. Life is a journey with contingencies, but if we listen to our hearts instead of our egos, it could avoid further hurt and division.
With much love,
Patricia Montenegro
